President Dwayne Johnson: Coming to an election booth near you

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Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, former professional wrestler and Hollywood’s most bankable action hero, told a GQ reporter in a recent interview that running for president was a “real possibility.” Johnson added to the speculation when, on the season finale of Saturday Night Live, he jokingly announced his 2020 presidential campaign with Tom Hanks as his running mate. What would have come off as ridiculous a year ago now seems like a serious consideration. According to a recent poll conducted by Public Policy Polling, if the elections were held today Johnson would beat out Trump 42 to 37 percent. Honestly, celebrities being our commanders in chief from now on isn’t the worst as far as dystopian futures go. At least the apocalypse will be theatrical.  

Unlike Trump, Johnson has remained apolitical in his public life, not wanting to alienate anyone in his fan base. It has helped him maintain his status as the world’s highest paid actor, but it has made it hard to figure out what Johnson’s politics are. He was courted by both the Trump and Clinton campaigns for an endorsement but declined, citing he felt like “it would either make people unhappy with the thought of whatever my political view was.” We’re left to guess what a Rock presidency would look like based off his choice in movie roles. So with that, let’s take a look.

Johnson transitioned from wrestling fame to Hollywood stardom in The Mummy Returns (2001). He plays the Scorpion King, an ancient Egyptian warrior, who in 3067 BC raises an army to conquer the known world. Much like the Scorpion King, Johnson would restore America’s place on the global stage, something that’s missing in today’s leadership. And just like the Scorpion King sells his soul to Anubis, God of the Underworld, in exchange for an army of demonic jackals to defeat hordes of ancient Egyptians, Johnson would do whatever it takes to defeat enemies of the United States in the Middle East. See ya later, ISIS. Johnson’s willingness to get tough on terrorism in the Arab world is a breath of fresh air from the current administration’s soft foreign policy in the region.

Johnson then found further success with the action-adventure film, Walking Tall (2004). He plays Chris Vaughn, a U.S soldier who returns to his hometown to find that its cedar mill has been shut down by a shady casino that pedals meth. He decides to clean up the town, killing all the casino’s employees with semi-automatics and a 2 x 4. Johnson’s admirable determination to bring back industrial factory jobs in Walking Tall shows that he’d be a president who wouldn’t stand for the decay of the middle class. And Johnson isn’t just talk, brutally beating the town’s corrupt casino boss into a coma with a tree branch. Johnson’s the no-nonsense politician that America needs.

He reached his current star status when he joined the Fast and the Furious franchise, helping the films consistently gross a billion dollars worldwide. In Fast Five (2011), he plays Luke Hobbes, a government agent dead set on bringing down a street racing gang of outlaws who are attempting to rob a Brazilian drug kingpin. Johnson gained insight on the set of Fast Five as to what America’s bravest go through on a daily basis, giving police unions a candidate they can get behind. But Johnson isn’t just a law and order candidate, he’s diplomatic. When Hobbes’ team of special agents is killed by RPG fire from the drug kingpin’s henchmen, he switches sides and joins the street racing gang, defeating the drug kingpin. Johnson shows practicality and a bipartisanship approach in Fast Five that you just don’t see in American politics these days. If Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan were massacred by an RPG, would Trump work with the Democrats? I don’t think so.

Johnson 2020. It’s not the worst idea we’ve had.