Longtime Florida resident and shut-in, Terry Rickshaw, who has never been told that movies are in fact not all documentaries, is alarmed by people’s complacency about the issues, villains, and natural catastrophes that are plaguing the world today. “The fact that they caught Michael Corleone on camera killing his brother Fredo in 1972, wasn’t arrested and was given another documentary in 1990 is appalling.” Rickshaw screamed from his arm chair, referencing Francis Ford Coppola’s Godfather Part II and Godfather Part III.
“It’s probably because we have incompetent cops like Officer Eddie Murphy out in Beverly Hills who spends most of his time dicking around and every other spare moment talking to fucking chipmunks,” Rickshaw continued, confusing actor and comedian Eddie Murphy’s role in the Beverly Hills Cop movie franchise and that of his role in Doctor Dolittle. Still, Rickshaw is hopeful that heroes like Spiderman and Batman exist to combat the evils on his 32 inch SONY screen of horrors. However, he’s less hopeful now that Ben Affleck is Batman, having felt Christian Bale was more capable and just an all around better guy.
Rickshaw has been stashing away a portion of his disability checks from the government over the last few months and is now ready to upgrade to an HBO subscription. He felt it was his urgent duty as a citizen of world to bare witness, in full, to the atrocities he grew privy to from the commercials for the Game of Thrones documentary in which he claims to have seen real fire breathing dragons. “Open your fucking eyes” Rickshaw shuttered as he grabbed the interviewer’s face. “If you’re not scared, you’re not paying attention,” Rickshaw said before grabbing a nearby shotgun and shooting at a passing car from behind his blinds. He then turned and told the interviewer that he didn’t trust cars now that the Transformers series was on Netflix.