Not Having The Best Summer, Could Really Use Your Social Security Number

Whats in this story

Hi guys!

How’s everyone?

Hope everyone is having a good summer.

I’m doing alright.

Well, if I’m being honest, I’ve been better…

I don’t know about you, but sometimes, do you ever just feel like you just want to get out of your skin? Be someone else and get away from it all?

I do. And that’s why I need your social security number.

Now, before you start asking twenty-one questions and being an overall narc about the whole thing, don’t. This is a trust thing. Look, I’m not going to access your bank account and routing numbers to take out fraudulent loans that’ll leave you financially ruined. Why your mind went there probably says something about you.

I’m going to level with you. My life’s on the line, here. It seems I’ve hit a rough patch and I’m in over my head with some bad people. Some really murky forces are at play here, folks. Just go to the cops, right? Wrong. The problem is, these guys are the cops. Without getting too specific, this thing appears to go all the way to the top…It looks as if I’m about to be framed by a multinational corporation for the assassination of a foreign dignitary, all for the financial gain of said, unstated corporation. But I don’t want to bore you with trivial details, so I’ll leave it at that and just say this…

If you were in the same boat and needed my social security number, I wouldn’t bat an eye. Think twice? I wouldn’t think once. So if you could just open an email message, type in the numbers, and press send, you’ll never have to see me again.

At the end of the day, a social security number is just that – numbers. Just a government construct designed by a pseudo big brother state to maintain total and complete control over you and your loved ones. When framed like that, it kind of seems like me taking your social security number off your hands is doing you a favor, doesn’t it?

Overall, not having the best summer and it’s really just not the best time to have my current social security number, identity, what have you. But other than that, I’ve been pretty good! I’d be doing better if you just give me your social security number though.