Experts Say Nature Overrated

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The Institute of Natural Enjoyment and Recreation has concluded its decade long study of whether or not nature is overrated with a resounding and undisputed conclusion – Yes. The study, commissioned by the NER in 2007, sent experts to national parks and world heritage sites around the world. Experts conferred with park rangers, scientists and environmentalists and concluded that without a doubt, nature is overrated.

“You ever seen a rock? Now imagine a bigger one. I just saved you a trip to Yosemite” said Bill Fischer, a member of the NER and the leader of the study. Environmentalists and nature enthusiasts point to the mental and physical health benefits that have been connected with the great outdoors. But Fischer and his team point to contrasting findings that show the same amount of enjoyment can be had sitting in a recliner at a Brooks Brothers, watching a stock image of a waterfall on a 42 inch flat screen. “Sony TVs are the best for nature. They’re not over saturated and have good pixelation,” Fischer said at a recent press conference announcing his team’s findings.

Fischer went on to say that this doesn’t mean nature is completely without value. “All-inclusive resorts on tropical beaches are a great way to enjoy nature while watching the Good Wife on your iPad. But don’t step on the sand because it can be very hot, and sand often happens to be too sandy,” reads a passage in the over 1,200 page finding.

The study was met with relief by the general public who can now stop pretending to enjoy nature and can go back to their couches. With the findings having been published in science journals around the world, Fischer and his colleagues will now turn their attention to an in-depth examination of whether or not bugs are gross.