Guys, it’s time for a little chat. You may not think you know me, but you do: I’m every woman in your life who’s not a relative. Maybe I’m your romantic partner, or your co-worker, or just a woman you’d like to get to know a little better. Whoever I am, I feel like we’ve had a misunderstanding about how this whole “interaction” thing works, so I thought I’d clear up a few points. Now, if you want to start paying me for some of the following services, we can talk more. But until that point…
- It’s not my job to fit your definition of what a woman should be. This includes, but is not limited to: The way I dress, the way I act, my career choices, and what may or may not be in my pants. I say that I’m a woman, so I am.
- It’s not my job to smile or look pretty, for you or anybody else. I’m a person, not a piece of IKEA art.
- It’s not my job to change my appearance based on what you do or don’t like. Any sentence that starts with You know, guys really hate that look has already lost my interest.
- It’s not my job to entertain you for the rest of the night just because you decided to buy me a drink.
- It’s not my job to give you “a chance.” The Friendzone is not a thing.
- It’s not my job to move out of your way, whether it’s on the street or in the office. I have just as much right to be here as you do.
- It’s not my job to cover myself so you won’t be tempted. Especially if I’m a teenager and you’re a middle-aged man.
- It’s not my job to accommodate or accept your bad behavior. Workplace jokes, repeated advances, and comments yelled across the street aren’t “compliments;” they’re harassment.
- It’s not my job to humour you, or laugh at your bad jokes.
- It’s not my job to coddle you. If you want to beat me at something, get better.
- It’s not my job to cater to your ego. My pleasure is just as important as yours.
- It’s not my job to defer to your lack of experience or knowledge.
- It’s not my job to keep anything “tight,” especially if the sentiment isn’t mutual. You don’t get to look like Peter Griffin if I have to look like Lois.
- It’s not my job to tolerate your abuse in any form. That includes physical, verbal, and sexual.
- It’s not my job to like your dickish friends.
- It’s not my job to provide anything for you. That includes meals, children, and sex.
- It’s not my job to take your name. You may not have noticed, but I already have one.
- It’s not my job to clean up your mess, literal or figurative.
- It’s not my job to suffer your bullshit.
- It’s not my job to cradle you indefinitely while you work on yourself. I’m also a human being with needs.
- It’s not my job to be nurturing, or agreeable, or soft, or nice. The last time I checked, I wasn’t a Care Bear.
- It’s not my job to police your behavior. You’re neither my pet nor my child.
- It’s not my job to compete with other women for your attention.
- It’s not my job to overwrite my own interests with yours. I am not a blank page.
- It’s not my job to be seen and not heard.
And most important of all:
26. It’s not my job to be less so that you can feel like enough.
