In a recently released tell-all book, Terry Goodrich, the man traced back as patient zero in the global warming hoax, is now coming clean about what inspired this practical joke gone wrong. Goodrich, the former owner of Ocean Beach Waves, a surf shop based out of San Diego, lost his store in the summer of 1995. He blamed the loss of his business on neighboring surf shop and bitter rival, Alan’s Rip Tide Emporium. Goodrich believes they were responsible for reporting him to the Better Business Bureau for selling knockoff Quicksilver wetsuits. “Fucking shoobies,” Goodrich was said to have muttered every time Alan’s was mentioned.
Goodrich hoped propagating a concentrated, misinformation campaign about extreme weather patterns and rising sea levels would convince local surfers to abandon the sport, thus putting Alan’s Rip Tide Emporium out of business. “If I couldn’t surf, then no one could – especially not Alan,” Goodrich recalled. He claimed the idea was born over beers with a “few bros” at Lazy Dog’s Beachside Bar and Grill in between morning and afternoon surf seshes. The hoax quickly began to pick up steam.
Goodrich hypothesizes that in the midst of Al Gore’s 2000 post-election-blues, Gore must have had enough down time to peruse internet conspiracy boards, eventually stumbling across one he liked – Goodrich’s. He claims Gore then adopted it as his own. “He got wind of it and the guy, like, seems to have some unhealthy need for attention. I guess he kind of just ran with it. I heard they made a movie also? I don’t know. I didn’t see it. Looked dumb,” Goodrich remarked. Despite overwhelming scientific evidence to the contrary, Goodrich steadfastly insists that the whole thing really is a hoax. As to why 99% of scientists believe climate change is real and is in fact man made, Goodrich guesses that they jumped on the bandwagon, “probably to distract from their lack of progress on cancer research or hair loss treatment or whatever.” Goodrich is now ready to set the record straight.
Al Gore could not be reached for comment.